Jan 2020, the year begins with celebrations as my first book – I love Myself– reaches it’s first anniversary. There are mixed feelings of nostalgia, and pride. Nostalgia because “Yeh! I did it” and pride because “I DID IT.”

Writing a book and then publishing it, is a dream not everyone dares to accomplish. It requires determination, dedication, and discipline; along with many other skills required for converting an idea into a book.

In this one year, there has been various occasions when people have approached me to clarify their understanding about self-love. There questions would range from what does self-love mean? to how it can be practiced? to isn’t it selfish to love yourself? to how can I put my needs first? or is it truly possible?

The concept of self-love can be easily understood by asking one simple question.

What’s the opposite of Love?

One can quickly say, that the opposite of love is hate.

Let’s look at it in a simple way.

As the opposite of love is hate, the opposite of self-love is self-hate. In the process of loving oneself, one needs to tune-down the volume of constant commentary running in the mind. The commentary that could range from self-criticism to self-judgement. While the process of observing the negative thoughts is underway. One has to begin working towards managing the quality of thoughts, feelings and behaviour for others. 

In order to practice self-love, one needs to be acceptable about all kind of emotions(positive and negative). One has to, also, develop the attitude of accepting all sort of emotions felt by others. Blame, judgment, complain, hatred has to transcend into love, compassion, empathy, and joy.

The unconditional acceptance of oneself when consciously practiced with unconditioned acceptance for others, develops the attitude and feeling of Self-Love.

Is it easy? of course not.

Is it possible? of course it is.

How would you like to make the journey of self-love? Share in comments.

Until then, let’s be compassionate with oneself and everyone around us.
– By Vandana Sehgal