Our life moves through several stages, and in each stage, there come tests and lessons. Someone recently shared their child’s teenage with me, and I could not stop myself from remembering my teenage years.
The first memorable lesson as a teenager
Mostly, nervous and shy, I lacked confidence as a teenager. Unlike most teenagers, I always shared everything with my mum. One day, she said, taking the example of a recent event in school where my svelte and gorgeous classmate offered me a cigarette in the bathroom. My mum said, “it is good you tell me everything, but wouldn’t it be good if you knew what to do about it and I just add to your thoughts, instead, you asking me every time for a decision?
“It’s your life, body, soul, and mind, and you are free. But of course, doing something that can harm you, me, your family, or even your society is not something I approve of.”
My friend offered me what looked like a cigarette, but wasn’t an ordinary one. Weed, she had told me then it was made up of and I had refused, again nervously. She was good to me as she never offered me again, but that was not the case with many.
“I think you don’t look good in this cropped haircut and instead, the kind of shy, you are, you must have had long hairs up to your knee, at least. Carefully oiled so that it dripped from every single hair of yours, and wow, your trademark specs – the square, oh no shit looking ones, black and sombre, pimply girl, you denied it on my face? Is it your guts, for you don’t seem to have any, for gutsy people would burn it down till the end? But somehow, I like people who can say no as no one dares to say a no to me.”
“Why, what do you do to people who say no to you?” I said
She came closer to me, and the sweet lavender smell of her talcum powder surrounded me immediately. As she opened her mouth, she let out the smoke of marijuana, filling my lungs. I did not know I was not supposed to breathe it in, but then oops, I already had.
“I burn them down, I finish them, coz I am fire, born to rule,” She briskly trotted off.
I stood there, quite shaken, and thought for a moment, was my guts from my being the fire too? I looked at my watch, it was time to run for my Maths as Sir was not genuinely a happy person. For almost the next seven days, I had symptoms of flu and yet, I bore with it for I knew why it happened. I read about the side effects of marijuana before confirming it with a friend’s father who was a doctor. The doctor said the girl was a bully and kept scaring young souls around her with Korean made cigarettes her uncle gifted her feigning they were made of weed.
He also confirmed the symptoms I had were due to the flu as he informed me about marijuana pointers.
Teenage deductions to be made early in life
• One of my seniors back in school had once said, “there is no right and wrong, but if you are embarrassed or shaken before doing a thing, it is time to reconsider your actions. Learn to read your body closely as it serves as a map of your wellbeing.”
• Similarly, while speaking to Vandana on our last meet, she too shared a valuable thought, something similar, yet different.
She said that setting a limit is essential. Of course, many need marijuana as it is also medicine in the correct quantity but hiding it connotes feeling uncomfortable doing it.
• When we are not comfortable doing something, it means we lack approval for it from others and are scared of judgement. But, is it wise to hide something? Will it not make you more revolting or end up doing it more?
Today we see thousands of such cases where parents are in the dark about their children’s addiction to drugs or alcohol. Now, if they knew their children were addicted to something non-healthy, they would have stopped kids from consuming it.
What harasses a teenager more?
Hiding adds to curiosity and leads to more attempts to know the unknown. Had it not been a hidden practice, less teenagers perhaps would not have been addicted to it. They would have known that drugs are harmful to our bodies and the falseness it gives us is not something we need to live.
• Peer pressure,
• A false sense of ego, and
• Failing to have a clear understanding between right and wrong are some of the reasons for children to end up being who they perhaps don’t want to be.
• Vulnerability presses us down and we do not learn to say no. The ability to say no means you are clear in what you want. If you are a parent to a teenager, how about starting teaching your child to say a firm no to addiction?
Childhood is a secure phase when we see the good in the world and receive pleasant gestures. As teenage, we experience everything different from our cartoon world. We feel scared and confused. Fears are the easiest way for any enemy to enter us. And as we are afraid, we are the most vulnerable. It will help our teenager if an environment of love and acceptance is provided by being a good listener to them.
Snehashree is a content writer by profession, and she writes on almost all the niches. She writes poetry, a book is also available on Amazon, called “A Hiatus from the Loaded Past”. She also regularly writes on her blog: https://www.rollercoasterrideonlife.blog/ and on her website, https://www.writersnehashree.com/. She is a part of IndieITPress and Talking Zebras Group.
About A New You:
We all deserve to have everything in our life exactly the way we want it.The first step begins with believing that every moment is bringing an opportunity to be a new you. As a founder, I provide tools to elevate all dimensions of your life and I teach you the art of writing to reach to your true potential.
Vandana Sehgal | Founder – A New You